Couples Therapy

Traditionally called marriage counselling, couples therapy or relationship counselling is for both married and unmarried couples.
What is couples counselling?

The focus in couples counselling is not so much on the individuals but on their relationship with each other, on the problems in the relationship and what they need to do to improve things. I work with couples who are married, living together or in a civil partnership, including straight, bisexual, gay and lesbian couples.

Couples counselling may also be relevant for couples who are about to marry, as well as those who are considering separation and divorce.​

Barefoot Couple
What to expect in couples counselling?

When I am working with couples, I can have several roles including mediator, facilitator, and coach. I will:

  • listen to you and your partner in an unbiased manner in a way that makes you feel heard, understood and respected

  • attempt to ensure that you listen to and understand each other

  • provide a safe, non-judgmental, relaxed and confidential environment where you feel able to open up and explore the issues

  • identify negative styles of interacting and increase your awareness of these

  • facilitate a shift towards healthier ways of interacting

  • help you reflect on what changes you want to make

  • support you to make these changes

  • help you to change your view of your relationship

  • decrease emotional avoidance

  • teach you to improve your communication

  • promote the strengths of your relationship

First couples session

I recommend that you come for 1.5 hours for the first session. In this session, I will start by asking you and your partner to tell me about yourselves as individuals. We will then move on to the history of your relationship, both the ups and downs, the strengths and the weaknesses. Finally, we will look at what has brought you to couples counselling at this stage, and at what you want to be different in your relationship.

Further couples sessions

To quickly create new and more positive ways of relating, I ask that you attend weekly sessions, committing to a minimum of six to start with. Consistent attendance is necessary. In this way, you will see results faster, and save yourself time and money.

With my help you and your partner can:

  • Communicate without bickering, criticism or verbal abuse

  • Resolve conflicts more quickly without hurting one another

  • Develop a new and deeper understanding of each other

  • Get on the same page with parenting

  • Enjoy a deeper level of intimacy and enjoy time spent together

  • Forgive one another for past hurts and restore trust

  • Develop skills to help deal with future problems should they arise.

Couples counselling works best when:

  • you and your partner are fully committed to making your relationship work

  • you are ready to make the necessary changes

  • both partners are willing to take responsibility for their part in the relationship issues

  • you are able to be honest about your thoughts and feelings and to share them in the sessions

  • you participate fully in the sessions

  • you want to grow and develop as an individual and make your relationship better

  • you carry out any homework assignments given

  • you are patient about the process and commit to the therapy